I saw Tim Johnson so, I introduced Pete and was congratulating him on a decent Euro cx campaign. He put an imaginary gun to his head and pulled the trigger. “It’s suicidal to go over there, but I’m going again.” he shrugged. I agreed with him and added something like: “well, it is brutal but, it is fun.”
And I felt like a kid in high school again. Hanging out with the older skaters, I would chime in about a band I liked and they would tell me how stupid liking that band is.
Not calling TJ out as a big jerk or anything. (being aware of how shit talking tends to get around here) But the psychology of the bike racer continues to amaze me. Or it could just be that I truly am a dork and don’t deserve a whole lot of respect.
I got nervous and tried to back track in defense of myself. “yeah, FUN but hard, I mean… yeah. Hard. Um, yeah…” I realized that I had not said anything stupid but, I felt like I had. And then I felt stupid for feeling stupid. I wanted to engage in a conversation with someone I consider a peer but then, I forget the feeling is unlikely mutual.
I must not forget that all of these racers I race with every weekend may or may not want anything to do with me. “who knows the deal with the weird transgender cross dressing guy who thinks he’s a girl who thinks he’s a bike racer. That is fucked up.”
He walked off and I was left standing there like I had put my foot in my mouth in front of one of the cool kids.
Adam Myerson gives me shit when I talk about racing being fun. “fucking my girlfriend is fun.” He says. “bike racing is not fun.”
I think it is a load of crap that we all don’t enjoy the bicycle game. Though Barry Wicks is one of the few riders I can remember being visably super stoked on a particular course or race. Parbo always has a good time too and comes out of the race chatting everyone up being charming and smiling and making dinner plans for the weekend.
It is almost like riders need to validate their profession. Never talking about it as FUN. Fun is what you do with toys and girls apparently. And keep your cards close to your chest. You don’t want to be seen hanging out with the wrong crowd. It always blows my mind that it is so hard to get to know some of these guys.
I think most of the riders I have met are pretty interesting but so much time is wasted engaging in schoolyard posturing and staring each other down. It is still amazing that I can walk up to a PRO racer pal at a big road or cx event and they will stare right through me until I chime in, “hey… um… hi there.” “oh, hey Molly.”
I like to enjoy my time traveling and racing. This shit is hard but, yes, it is f’ing fun.
I refuse to believe that these dudes truly do not feel it is. Racing for a paycheck is one thing but, one can make much, much more money doing something they dislike a little more than riding the bicycle.
I spent some time thinking about heroes on a long ride recently and remembered hearing about this.
There are douche bags and there are douche bags.
Wait, it kinda does. Can’t really argue your way out of that one. Being intense is one thing, being so intense you are inconsiderate of others?
Is there a correlation between talent and privilege?
Or is there a correlation between douchebags and privilege?
Or is it douchebags and talent?
Calling it as I see it.
(Pete pointed out the above sounds like I am talking about TJ again. I’m not. FYI: I don’t think he is a douche.)
Was up in Seattle last weekend (the sunny one) for work related stuff.
Visited HSP and CBS. Rode around the city in an Organic Athlete kit, drank lots of iced espresso and lemonade. The weather in the NW jumped head first into summer leaving us sunburned and in awe of the amazing sun dresses.
HUP will never get me but, I’m feeling the folks on the squad.
Friday night, “we are racer nerds with no social skills” hang out sessions?